Making the transition from a single relationship to a life based on marriage, family values and future plans, requires both partners to change their lifestyle and sense of priorities in general. However, a lot of anxiety and stress can accompany this new lifestyle, especially for mothers.
The woman needs to be a brilliant wife, an outstanding cook, a caring mom, and a successful business woman. And, these are only a few of the many characteristics that today’s modern woman should possess in her new married life. With all the mess and confusion that kids can cause, it’s not surprising that mothers experience the effects of stress.
But, how about the husbands? Can they introduce more stress in the lives of their wives? In today’s modern society, more and more women feel as if they have no choice but to become a parent of their partners instead of relying on them.
The Reality Of Mothers And Stress In Numbers
Many mothers have to play several roles in their family: cook, teacher, doctor, housekeeper, etc. There are even some who plan the events and occasions in the married life. Even if they really act like super-women, they are not and eventually, end up stressed out.
To be able to properly evaluate the circumstances in married life, a survey has been conducted with more than 7,000 mothers, where they were asked to rate stress. According to the results, the stress level of these women was rated at 8.5 out of 10. Also, 46 percent of them said that they were feeling more stressed from their husbands than their kids. The researchers also found out that 3 out of 4 of the surveyed moms with a partner reported doing most of the domestic chores and parenting.
1 in 5 mothers also said that not having help from their husbands is a big source of stress. Also, they complained that they do not have enough time to do everything that needs to be done in a day.
What is even more troubling is that the researchers have discovered that this affects the health of each partner over time.
Namely, a study showed that if the woman dies and the husband takes responsibility, his health deteriorates. Whereas in the opposite case, if the husband dies, the woman finds herself in better health and is better able to cope with depression and stress. The researchers suspect that this is because men rely more on their female partner than the other way around.
How Mothers Can Reduce Stress
Mothers expect support from their husbands, to take care of the family, especially when both of them are working full time. Husbands and wives should split their work at home.
If you consider that you do not have the same split of labor with your partner at home, talk to him! Make a list of all the things that need to be done. See how you can equally divide the responsibilities.
Start with a shared calendar and connect it to both your computers and phones. This way, no one will forget the important dates.
Take a step back! It’s always easy to blame your husband for not being responsible enough. Or for not doing much of the chores at home. But, most of the time, he really wants to be the best husband and father ever!
The problem may be that you do not trust him completely! If it is not done properly, it may seem easier to do things yourself than to ask your spouse.
Resist the urge to always do things on your own! Let him do it! Remember to recharge and take care of yourself.
Keep The Spark Alive In Your Relationship!
You are not only parents, you are partners and lovers! Feeding your love relationship that will unite you will make all the difference in the short and long term.
Do your best to separate time for each other during the weekends. Get some private time, with no distractions, no children, and no work. Keeping a strong connection between the two of you can help you go through those difficult days when you just want to hide, cry, or scream.